| Today isn't really cynical... because today I am graduating from Millikin University. I am receiving a Bachelor's of Music in Music Business & Commercial Music with a minor Entrepreneurship. Over the past 4 years I was taught many things I will never remember by professors, teachers, students and faculty I will never forget. So over the past 100 days, I wrote 100 reasons to graduate on my twitter - @Lauren_Lewis_ Enjoy! -Cynical Sugar |  My 1st Graduation, Spring 1996 from the prestigious Clown's Corner Preschool. |
Reason 1: school is no longer fun. 100 days til MU graduation class of 2013!
Reason 2: when you work more hours than study... yep its time to move on.
Reason 3: you are taking just enough credits to keep your financial aid. #98days
Reason 4: you have all the pizza delivery numbers on speed dial. #97days
Reason 5: your dreams are shattered by the impending debt. #96days #studentloans #maybeishouldstay
Reason 6: you have given your boyfriend the ultimatum - marry me or leave me.
Reason 7: dating a freshman feels like robbing the cradle... Bc they can't get into the bars. #93days
Reason 8: you've lost and regained the freshman 15 four times... #yourhealthneedsthis #nomorepizza
Reason 9: Mondays are the detox days. #everyonehatesmondays #sobriety
Reason 10: you've learned enough trivial facts to whoop some board game ass! #fuckgenedsReason 11: you have plenty of clothes... But still find sweats an acceptable style choice. #lazy #lookinggoodrocky
Reason 12: you have gone through all the colors in the hair dye aisle. #FireEngineRedIsForSluts #YouBeatTheRainbow
Reason 13: you lose the fight to stay awake and act interested during a lecture. #TimeWatcher #WasThatTheBell?
Reason 14: you have learned every cure to hangovers. #StartDrinkingAgain #PediasureWorksToo
Reason 15: your nightmares have grown from monsters in the closet to finding a job. #MaybeIShouldStay
Reason 16: you know that leggings aren't pants. #SeniorWisdom
Reason 17: you are never satisfied with goodbye, but know you need to let go in order to grow. #SeniorWisdom
Reason 18: you've realized the point of a RA is to get you in trouble. #BeerIsNotAlcohol #ILiveOffCampusForAReason
Reason 19: you've learned to like beer. #NatyLightStillTastesLikeShit
Reason 20: the thrill of meeting a deadline, becomes the thrill of getting an extension. #OverSchool
Reason 21: all your friends are getting engaged. #YouNeedToGraduate #OrDeleteYourFBFriends
Reason 22: a presidential election happened... if it happens twice, you are probably the smartest poor person in the world.
Reason 23: Your resume elegantly reflects your hours of modern slavery. #UnpaidInternships #Serving
Reason 24: your professor knows your drink of choice. #captainandcoke #pbr
Reason 25: your professor calls you out in class, for creating a bed made of desks. #truefact
Reason 2: when you work more hours than study... yep its time to move on.
Reason 3: you are taking just enough credits to keep your financial aid. #98days
Reason 4: you have all the pizza delivery numbers on speed dial. #97days
Reason 5: your dreams are shattered by the impending debt. #96days #studentloans #maybeishouldstay
Reason 6: you have given your boyfriend the ultimatum - marry me or leave me.
Reason 7: dating a freshman feels like robbing the cradle... Bc they can't get into the bars. #93days
Reason 8: you've lost and regained the freshman 15 four times... #yourhealthneedsthis #nomorepizza
Reason 9: Mondays are the detox days. #everyonehatesmondays #sobriety
Reason 10: you've learned enough trivial facts to whoop some board game ass! #fuckgenedsReason 11: you have plenty of clothes... But still find sweats an acceptable style choice. #lazy #lookinggoodrocky
Reason 12: you have gone through all the colors in the hair dye aisle. #FireEngineRedIsForSluts #YouBeatTheRainbow
Reason 13: you lose the fight to stay awake and act interested during a lecture. #TimeWatcher #WasThatTheBell?
Reason 14: you have learned every cure to hangovers. #StartDrinkingAgain #PediasureWorksToo
Reason 15: your nightmares have grown from monsters in the closet to finding a job. #MaybeIShouldStay
Reason 16: you know that leggings aren't pants. #SeniorWisdom
Reason 17: you are never satisfied with goodbye, but know you need to let go in order to grow. #SeniorWisdom
Reason 18: you've realized the point of a RA is to get you in trouble. #BeerIsNotAlcohol #ILiveOffCampusForAReason
Reason 19: you've learned to like beer. #NatyLightStillTastesLikeShit
Reason 20: the thrill of meeting a deadline, becomes the thrill of getting an extension. #OverSchool
Reason 21: all your friends are getting engaged. #YouNeedToGraduate #OrDeleteYourFBFriends
Reason 22: a presidential election happened... if it happens twice, you are probably the smartest poor person in the world.
Reason 23: Your resume elegantly reflects your hours of modern slavery. #UnpaidInternships #Serving
Reason 24: your professor knows your drink of choice. #captainandcoke #pbr
Reason 25: your professor calls you out in class, for creating a bed made of desks. #truefact
//
Reason 26: you have 1000 of dollars in school registered parking tickets.
Reason 27: you are measured for the cap and gown... & you didn't fall for the #scam of buying grad announcements.
Reason 28: your school tries to control your social life, when you are legal. #FunSuckers
Reason 29: no matter how often you click save, technology will always fail you like a whore with herpies. #GiveUpNow
Reason 30: you live a block away and still drive to school.
Reason 31: You forgot orange juice was once not a mixer. #Screwdriver #TequillaSunrise
Reason 32: you think nap time is during class only.
Reason 33: it's the end of the year and you can't stand anyone around you.
Reason 34: you recognize the style shift from freshman year. #PeasantShirtsAreANoGo #upgradenow
Reason 35: you should be packing for spring break but instead are doing laundry... Guess we can leave an hour later.
Reason 36: it's your first day of #springbreak and you are stuck working a double.
Reason 37: you have lost the taste for 5 dollar vodka and developed a love for craft beer.
Reason 38: you've learned how to do your laundry and how to make clothes last a month long... #economical
Reason 39: more than one professor has said: "haven't you graduated yet?" #EvenProfessorsWantUsToLeave
Reason 40: you get an instant migraine the moment an underclass man opens its mouth. #ShutUp #IDoNotCare!
Reason 41: you have called a taxi to take you to a liquor store.
Reason 42: you've stopped dreaming of changing the world. Now, it is nightmares of bills & commitment & 401Ks. #NoJob
Reason 43: 'cuz its the cool thing to do - all your friends are graduating. #GraduationIsAFad
Reason 44: you can't control your mouth near your sorority sisters & you never could near your friend in a sorority. #greek #GDI
Reason 45: lazy snow days... Nah that's a reason to stay in school or be a teacher! #55days
Reason 46: you can't stand switching subjects with only a 10 minute break. Psych, then math, then English and repeat.
Reason 47: your form of "ice breakers" are now hellos and pickup lines.
Reason 48: you know how to pass a class without buying the book.
Reason 49: you only look good in a suit and I do not mean birthday. #BirthdaySuit #SuitandTie
Reason 50: there is nothing else you can be taught, it's time for you to do. #50days
//
Reason 51: you wait all day & the mythical creatures don't appear; this refers to hiring dream jobs & Easter Bunnies.
Reason 52: you have learned to love coffee, at all hours. #allnighters #caffeine
Reason 53: people started calling you the "super senior citizen" #5thyear #graduatealready #PunsThatAreNotFunny
Reason 54: you've paid to take an unpaid internship. Time to take one for free. #InternshipForCredit #ModernSlavery
Reason 55: you received the email asking for the phonetic spelling of your name. I know, Lauren Lewis is really hard.
Reason 56: there are heterosexual men in the real world. #WhereIsMyParade #IWantMyMRS #BacherlotteProblems
Reason 57: your hook up list stopped growing and is now on repeat. #HaveWeMet? #IsThereAShuffleSetting?
Reason 58: unemployment is better without having to write a 15 page research paper. #FuckGenEds #42days #Millikin
Reason 59: you won't have to see that annoying girl in class everyday. #shutup #DieBrownNoserDie
Reason 60: end of student groups donation plees. #EveryOrganizationIsRsisingMoneyForTheLocalAnimalShelter? #ICallScam
Reason 61: when colleges call you, you do not have to lie anymore. #BeenThereDoneThat
Reason 62: in the "real world" people shower everyday. #WeCanTell #TooMuchPerfume
Reason 63: you broke up with your college sweetheart... Time to Move Away! #Stalker #PsychoEx
Reason 64: you produced your senior capstone project, & found out your true potential; successfully throwing a ragers.
Reason 65: you've thoroughly studied the difference between a 24-hour flu & hangovers #Scientist #35days #LabsAreBars
Reason 66: no more school cafeteria food. #IWillMissTheLunchLady #34days
Reason 67: you'll become an art collector, owning an expensive piece of paper, nobody wants or understands. #diploma
Reason 68: you'd rather jump out the window instead of sitting through another math class.
Reason 69: you have officially completed every experiment in labs, bars, tool sheds, football field, & practice rooms.
Reason 70: you've given all the foreign exchange students a real America welcome in your dorm room. #slut #manwhore
Reason 71: you're caught everyday on your phone during class & don't care #GiveNoFucks #Senioritis #29days
Reason 72: the bartenders know you by name and ask when you are moving away. #SocialAlcoholic #4weeks
Reason 73: you will be able to sign a year or longer lease. #NoMoreSummerHousingSearch #OneMoveInDay
Reason 74: class has become a game of what rules I can break and still pass. #rebel #26days
Reason 75: your technology needs an upgrade. #ThereAreTabletsNow #YourLaptopWasCoolWhenLindseyLohanWasSober
//
Reason 76: you've used every excuse to ditch class including killing off 6 grandparents & an uncle. #YouOnlyHaveAunts
Reason 77: time for an ego deflation. #TimeForARealityCheck #FreshmanInTheWorkforce #23days
Reason 78: it's time for a new identity/nick name. The one from freshman year doesn't work. #HornyHippo #LittleSkunker
Reason 79: you're finally ready to enter the workforce b/c you've lost all morals. #SheDoesNotKnow #OtherGirlProblems
Reason 80: you sound more intelligent than your alumni. #LastGuestSpeakerEver
Reason 81: you have more debt than the high school drop out that now has three kids. #StupidStudentLoans
Reason 82: you picked up your cap and gown. #18days
Reason 83: you drive over 6 hours for a job interview... To be told we do not think you are a good fit.
Reason 84: you bring alcohol in a coffee mug to get through class.
Reason 85: you laugh at the drama created by school organizations. #IDoNotCareAnymore
Reason 86: you've over drafted on your bank account more than once... For alcohol. #14days #BudgettedLife
Reason 87: your popularity decreases with each graduating class. #FreshmanThinkTheyAreBetterThanYou #SeniorsDoNotCare
Reason 88: you are mistaken as a faculty member at the coffee shop, book store, & bar.
Reason 89: your parents will finally have something to be proud of.
Reason 90: you've finished you last academic class with your favorite teacher. #IWillMissYouTBott
Reason 91: there is more to life than college, day drinking & one night stands.
Reason 92: You do not have to convince yourself to finish school or attend class. #NoMoreClass #8days #Graduating
Reason 93: bartenders.. well everyone knows your drink & your limit, bc a server has held your hair as you threw up.
Reason 94: the question: "What are you doing after graduation?" will die forever!
Reason 95: the nothing fight between you & your BFFs/LLFs will end because the scary changes & goodbyes will be done.
Reason 96: no more school rules dictating & controlling everything & defining your potential. Time for you to do you.
Reason 97: reunions are fun... when you only invite people YOU liked & you meet up at places other than college bars.
Reason 98: you receive dozens of free meals because the best teachers want to say good bye.
Reason 99: no one ever doubted you could do this and now you realize it too. #thanksmom
Reason 100: you are already in a cap and gown, might as well walk.
Reason 26: you have 1000 of dollars in school registered parking tickets.
Reason 27: you are measured for the cap and gown... & you didn't fall for the #scam of buying grad announcements.
Reason 28: your school tries to control your social life, when you are legal. #FunSuckers
Reason 29: no matter how often you click save, technology will always fail you like a whore with herpies. #GiveUpNow
Reason 30: you live a block away and still drive to school.
Reason 31: You forgot orange juice was once not a mixer. #Screwdriver #TequillaSunrise
Reason 32: you think nap time is during class only.
Reason 33: it's the end of the year and you can't stand anyone around you.
Reason 34: you recognize the style shift from freshman year. #PeasantShirtsAreANoGo #upgradenow
Reason 35: you should be packing for spring break but instead are doing laundry... Guess we can leave an hour later.
Reason 36: it's your first day of #springbreak and you are stuck working a double.
Reason 37: you have lost the taste for 5 dollar vodka and developed a love for craft beer.
Reason 38: you've learned how to do your laundry and how to make clothes last a month long... #economical
Reason 39: more than one professor has said: "haven't you graduated yet?" #EvenProfessorsWantUsToLeave
Reason 40: you get an instant migraine the moment an underclass man opens its mouth. #ShutUp #IDoNotCare!
Reason 41: you have called a taxi to take you to a liquor store.
Reason 42: you've stopped dreaming of changing the world. Now, it is nightmares of bills & commitment & 401Ks. #NoJob
Reason 43: 'cuz its the cool thing to do - all your friends are graduating. #GraduationIsAFad
Reason 44: you can't control your mouth near your sorority sisters & you never could near your friend in a sorority. #greek #GDI
Reason 45: lazy snow days... Nah that's a reason to stay in school or be a teacher! #55days
Reason 46: you can't stand switching subjects with only a 10 minute break. Psych, then math, then English and repeat.
Reason 47: your form of "ice breakers" are now hellos and pickup lines.
Reason 48: you know how to pass a class without buying the book.
Reason 49: you only look good in a suit and I do not mean birthday. #BirthdaySuit #SuitandTie
Reason 50: there is nothing else you can be taught, it's time for you to do. #50days
//
Reason 51: you wait all day & the mythical creatures don't appear; this refers to hiring dream jobs & Easter Bunnies.
Reason 52: you have learned to love coffee, at all hours. #allnighters #caffeine
Reason 53: people started calling you the "super senior citizen" #5thyear #graduatealready #PunsThatAreNotFunny
Reason 54: you've paid to take an unpaid internship. Time to take one for free. #InternshipForCredit #ModernSlavery
Reason 55: you received the email asking for the phonetic spelling of your name. I know, Lauren Lewis is really hard.
Reason 56: there are heterosexual men in the real world. #WhereIsMyParade #IWantMyMRS #BacherlotteProblems
Reason 57: your hook up list stopped growing and is now on repeat. #HaveWeMet? #IsThereAShuffleSetting?
Reason 58: unemployment is better without having to write a 15 page research paper. #FuckGenEds #42days #Millikin
Reason 59: you won't have to see that annoying girl in class everyday. #shutup #DieBrownNoserDie
Reason 60: end of student groups donation plees. #EveryOrganizationIsRsisingMoneyForTheLocalAnimalShelter? #ICallScam
Reason 61: when colleges call you, you do not have to lie anymore. #BeenThereDoneThat
Reason 62: in the "real world" people shower everyday. #WeCanTell #TooMuchPerfume
Reason 63: you broke up with your college sweetheart... Time to Move Away! #Stalker #PsychoEx
Reason 64: you produced your senior capstone project, & found out your true potential; successfully throwing a ragers.
Reason 65: you've thoroughly studied the difference between a 24-hour flu & hangovers #Scientist #35days #LabsAreBars
Reason 66: no more school cafeteria food. #IWillMissTheLunchLady #34days
Reason 67: you'll become an art collector, owning an expensive piece of paper, nobody wants or understands. #diploma
Reason 68: you'd rather jump out the window instead of sitting through another math class.
Reason 69: you have officially completed every experiment in labs, bars, tool sheds, football field, & practice rooms.
Reason 70: you've given all the foreign exchange students a real America welcome in your dorm room. #slut #manwhore
Reason 71: you're caught everyday on your phone during class & don't care #GiveNoFucks #Senioritis #29days
Reason 72: the bartenders know you by name and ask when you are moving away. #SocialAlcoholic #4weeks
Reason 73: you will be able to sign a year or longer lease. #NoMoreSummerHousingSearch #OneMoveInDay
Reason 74: class has become a game of what rules I can break and still pass. #rebel #26days
Reason 75: your technology needs an upgrade. #ThereAreTabletsNow #YourLaptopWasCoolWhenLindseyLohanWasSober
//
Reason 76: you've used every excuse to ditch class including killing off 6 grandparents & an uncle. #YouOnlyHaveAunts
Reason 77: time for an ego deflation. #TimeForARealityCheck #FreshmanInTheWorkforce #23days
Reason 78: it's time for a new identity/nick name. The one from freshman year doesn't work. #HornyHippo #LittleSkunker
Reason 79: you're finally ready to enter the workforce b/c you've lost all morals. #SheDoesNotKnow #OtherGirlProblems
Reason 80: you sound more intelligent than your alumni. #LastGuestSpeakerEver
Reason 81: you have more debt than the high school drop out that now has three kids. #StupidStudentLoans
Reason 82: you picked up your cap and gown. #18days
Reason 83: you drive over 6 hours for a job interview... To be told we do not think you are a good fit.
Reason 84: you bring alcohol in a coffee mug to get through class.
Reason 85: you laugh at the drama created by school organizations. #IDoNotCareAnymore
Reason 86: you've over drafted on your bank account more than once... For alcohol. #14days #BudgettedLife
Reason 87: your popularity decreases with each graduating class. #FreshmanThinkTheyAreBetterThanYou #SeniorsDoNotCare
Reason 88: you are mistaken as a faculty member at the coffee shop, book store, & bar.
Reason 89: your parents will finally have something to be proud of.
Reason 90: you've finished you last academic class with your favorite teacher. #IWillMissYouTBott
Reason 91: there is more to life than college, day drinking & one night stands.
Reason 92: You do not have to convince yourself to finish school or attend class. #NoMoreClass #8days #Graduating
Reason 93: bartenders.. well everyone knows your drink & your limit, bc a server has held your hair as you threw up.
Reason 94: the question: "What are you doing after graduation?" will die forever!
Reason 95: the nothing fight between you & your BFFs/LLFs will end because the scary changes & goodbyes will be done.
Reason 96: no more school rules dictating & controlling everything & defining your potential. Time for you to do you.
Reason 97: reunions are fun... when you only invite people YOU liked & you meet up at places other than college bars.
Reason 98: you receive dozens of free meals because the best teachers want to say good bye.
Reason 99: no one ever doubted you could do this and now you realize it too. #thanksmom
Reason 100: you are already in a cap and gown, might as well walk.
