Cynical Sundays - Big Laughs

Recently, I was the center of attention of a blog post for a video that I posted on youtube.  I will never say that I am a victim of cyber bullying because the word victim according to Merriam Webster’s website states that a victim is

“1.  a living being sacrificed to a deity or in the performance of a religious rite.  There was no part of my faith associated with my silly parody and yes I removed the video from my youtube but that is because people were judging my appearance and not my comedy or listening to the song.  A lot of comedians get pissed when you say the punch line before they can deliver it, and I am made because half of those shithead comments stole my set.  I’m the funny one that points out my luxurious curves that I refer to as personal clutz padding - imagine the broken bones if my fat didn’t cushion the fall.

2.  one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent.  Yes the blog had comments that said some “mean” things, but I can handle that shit, I’ve been fighting bullies since Kindergarten and those people had the guts to call me shit like “tub of lard-ren” to my face... although the blog had one comment that called me a “Guido black lover” and I was confused because how did they figure out I was Italian?   I’m one of the whitest girls and even I can’t tell my originality to take offense to that racism.  Although they are spot on, black men are some of the sexiest men in the world but then again so are gingers.  

3.  one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions; one that is tricked or duped.  If you can’t already tell I’m not broken or destroyed.  No one tricked me into posting the video so victim is the word I call myself and I do not the exact word to describe the situation but none of the definitions line up.

One of the reasons that inspired this pos,t is to explain to my close friends and family that I am strong enough to handle the industry I’m entering.  People may hate me, some may love me.  I am a risk taker but for every risk I’ve taken I’ve come out ahead or winning.  Its mainly because my mantra is that failure only exists when you stop trying.  So I will never fail because I will never stop trying.

Idiots keep telling me its hard to be a female comedian and those statements are fuel for me to make you pee your pants in laughter.  The fact that I am a woman, does not mean I’m not funny - telling a shitty joke that’s why someone is not funny.  So tell your friends telling crappy pun jokes to stop, because they bring more groans and tears than laughter.  There are plenty of women and men that I aspire to.  Each comedian has a trait that I desire to imitate in my act.  

The CTA Song - a Parody of The Lumineer's "Ho Hey"

 
Some of my favorite comedians include Adam Sandler, Jimmy Fallon, Rosanne Barr, Ellen Degeneres, Steve Martin, Conan O’Brien, Kristen Wig, Aziz Ansari, Stephen Lynch, Tina Fey, Zach Galifianakis, Sarah Silverman, Jay Leno, Michelle McCarthy, Demetri Martin, Seth Meyers, The Lonely Island and all of my favorite Chicago comedians who are my mentors and friends.  There are so many more comedians that I love and many musical comedic acts that I respect and thoroughly enjoy.

You can call me fat and state other facts about me but I can’t really work with that... you are just wasting your breath.   Tell me I’m not funny, now that is something I can work with.  Like every admature comedian, I am still finding my voice and learning what is “truly” funny.  I have always been a comedy lover.  At 10, I remember sneaking downstairs to watch SNL.  When normal kids were dreaming about becoming a ballerina or police officer, I was dreaming that one day I could bring as much joy to people as these comedians brought me every saturday.  But that little girl was a fan, and I have been a serious writer-comedian-musician for only 2 years and maybe I’m talented but funny? Now, that I am still working on.  

I hope that if you are reading this you can show people that who YOU are is defined by YOU and what YOU do.  Cyber bullies need a screen to hide behind because they are insecure and lack true emotion to confront their own personal problem.  Yes I removed the video from my youtube and sometimes I regret that, but I still have the audio so give a listen to the soundcloud link above.

-Cynical Sugar