Loyal readers, I am sorry for the hiatus but I got a new job and apparently I was too stressed out to attempt to write humor for you. BUT I”M BACK. Oh where is my new job you ask? The one and only Shedd Aquarium... I go to work and often wonder how I was hired. I’m nothing special but this employment does pay the bills so there’s that - but before I granted the award of smelling like fish every day (an award of which I know you are super jealous) I had to have a group interview. Of course they asked, why did you apply to Shedd and guys I had to think of something quick. Everyone went before me and mentioned how they loved the aquarium and that interview was the first time I stepped foot into the building. So I had to be fast and I win a stupid award because this was my response: “Uh... I just love your building its so beautiful inside and out... and I’m deathly afraid of all animals so I’m glad I will never have to touch them and that they are all behind thick glass.” Apparently, it worked or the Shedd was desperate but I’m going with the belief that my beauty and impeccable speech delivery were the must haves for them. Now, its been two weeks and I want to inform you of the my favorite stupid question asked at the Shedd.
Where are the Polar Bears? Do you know how hard it is to give a non-sarcastic response? Uh, I don’t know if you find them will you let me know? I believe the polar bears are at brookfield zoo. Or we have POLAR BEARS? We are a strange aquarium with monkeys, penguins and anaconda but we do not have polar bears. People are so weird, and illiterate. Its an aquarium... either way that’s my update for you I should be back to normal now.
Normal does not exist, so I guess I’m just back.