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Stupid People Tuesdays - Pedestrians

10/1/2013

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Ped... Peda.. Pedadestari... PROTESTANTS! Wait, that’s wrong.  If you still have 2 legs, hardest thing about walking is pronouncing the word that describes who you are.  As an elite driver, I hate all things that are not in a car and often I hate things in a car too.  I have massive road rage.  Although, its not my fault that everyone sucks at transportation.  Let me tell you a secret, I’ve walked before.  I’m not a tree hugging hippie, but I once walked to a final destination.  And this is the story of why I drive now.I was walking to the wonderful establishment once labeled as CVS.  I was happy, eager and looked beautiful.  (After my trip to the mighty CVS, I was going to attend work... however there is never a time where ugliness is a concern.)  Anyways, as I glided and skipped and froliced through the streets of Chicago I had no care in the world.  Until, I heard a sweet hum in the distance.  It reminded me of my childhood and small town parades. That sweet hum was an ambulance’s siren.  Ohhhhh noooooo! I was just starting to cross the street, like all idiotic pedestrians!  What was I supposed to do? I found myself half way across division street when that sweet humming siren wanted to turn onto the street I was crossing.  What is the protocol for this feat I encountered? 
Picture
 I still don’t know but I can tell you what I did.  I decided that the appropriate response was to stop in the middle of the road, wink and wave to the sexy ambulance driver, as I yell in the sweetest voice: “Thanks for not killing me!”  So moral of the story is that I found the man I am going to marry, too bad I will never see him again. Missed connections aren’t for everyone I guess.  Also, I still hate you all that feel the need to grace my beloved transportation routes.

All of my family are such fly walkers, my granny uses a candy cane!
-cynical sugar   

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