Ped... Peda.. Pedadestari... PROTESTANTS! Wait, that’s wrong. If you still have 2 legs, hardest thing about walking is pronouncing the word that describes who you are. As an elite driver, I hate all things that are not in a car and often I hate things in a car too. I have massive road rage. Although, its not my fault that everyone sucks at transportation. Let me tell you a secret, I’ve walked before. I’m not a tree hugging hippie, but I once walked to a final destination. And this is the story of why I drive now.I was walking to the wonderful establishment once labeled as CVS. I was happy, eager and looked beautiful. (After my trip to the mighty CVS, I was going to attend work... however there is never a time where ugliness is a concern.) Anyways, as I glided and skipped and froliced through the streets of Chicago I had no care in the world. Until, I heard a sweet hum in the distance. It reminded me of my childhood and small town parades. That sweet hum was an ambulance’s siren. Ohhhhh noooooo! I was just starting to cross the street, like all idiotic pedestrians! What was I supposed to do? I found myself half way across division street when that sweet humming siren wanted to turn onto the street I was crossing. What is the protocol for this feat I encountered? |  I still don’t know but I can tell you what I did. I decided that the appropriate response was to stop in the middle of the road, wink and wave to the sexy ambulance driver, as I yell in the sweetest voice: “Thanks for not killing me!” So moral of the story is that I found the man I am going to marry, too bad I will never see him again. Missed connections aren’t for everyone I guess. Also, I still hate you all that feel the need to grace my beloved transportation routes. All of my family are such fly walkers, my granny uses a candy cane! -cynical sugar |
