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Stupid People Tuesdays - Vegans

6/11/2013

3 Comments

 
There are herbivores, omnivores, carnivores and idiots.  If you don't fit... you're the idiot.  All of these exist to make sure the world goes round but the world stops once a vegan opens its mouth.  I can get on the pro-animals bit the vegetarians have because that leaves more chicken wings and steak for me.  However, vegans seem like something more foreign than Fez (That 70s Show Character).  Do you like looking like anorexics?  Vegans eat a very strict diet that excludes meat, eggs, dairy products and other animal-derived ingredients.  Most vegans do it wrong... or so I’m told.  I think all vegans do it wrong because they can’t have brownies (eggs), bread (butter), or ICE CREAM (diary).  None of those items include meat... so vegetarians we’re still cool.  I actually went vegetarian for a week... although I was sick with mono and had a hard time chewing but a fact is still a fact.  I don’t mind vegans if they don’t talk... or suggest places to eat.  There aren’t many vegan restaurant options because all one can serve vegans are items from the produce section of a grocery store... so no more suggesting Jewel, Whole Foods or your favorite Trader Joe's.

Vegans fill their void of food with philosophical vegan bull shit.... so shut up.
-cynical sugar

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3 Comments
dave
6/11/2013 05:55:18 am

your comedy blog reads like a severely schizophrenic person doing an impression of a comedian. seriously, every entry seems like the kind of thing you'd find scrawled in red ink among the thousands of notebooks in a crazy person's closet.

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dave
6/11/2013 05:58:16 am

take that as you will.

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Mr. Acorn
6/21/2013 07:05:59 am

So true

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