The only good thing about work is money. I hate working, especially dealing with stupid people. Stupid people are the reason I prefer to have a monkey instead of a child. I could not reproduce something that would have to live in this world with so many stupid people. But think it over... Monkey’s are way better than kids. Let me lay it out.
Monkey v. Kids
1. Monkeys learn to sign and kids learn to scream.
2. Monkeys wear diapers and kids pee their pants.
3. Monkeys eat bananas and kids eat everything... paint chips, brownies, glue.
The funny thing about monkeys is if you replace the word kids with drunks the list doesn’t change. All in all monkeys are the coolest thing alive. There is a reason George of the Jungle lived a happy life. Long story short, I want a reverse Tarzan, just call me Mama Mowgli Monkey.
-cynical sugar
